Gay Marriage

The Barry Horn trial sees yet another re-scheduling

2010-10-04T00:36:00.000-07:00

Barry Horn's case got moved again to January 17. I guess they are hoping that people will forget what this person did to him and where he did it. I don't think that is likely.

It has been a while since I have blogged and for that I apologize. I have been busy getting Armoire Theater and PFLAG off the ground.

Armoire Theater has been expanded to two films a month. So now instead of 12 films we will be able to watch 26. I hope to see you all there.

Concerning PFLAG, there was a bit of drama on August 20. Apparently some people felt asking members to pay dues was wrong. The thing is to get an organization like this off the ground, it requires, time, talent and money. Without one of these integral factors from each individual, the organization will fail ESPECIALLY IN THE EARLY STAGES.

People aren't so quick to part with their money if they know it is going to an organization like PFLAG because of their homophobia ESPECIALLY in an area where people are not only conservative but they stake their culture in tradition no matter how unreasonable it is.

Needless to say, it caused a rift and unnecessary drama. To me, it reinforced that sometimes people who are in most need of help want it the least because they don't want to invest in the organization FULLY. They want others to do the dirty work and then they get to take the credit for doing next to nothing.

The thing is if we have dues, we have seed money to promote the organization. This in turn gives us the luxury of getting the message out the the community at large, to make more money so that we can travel to conventions and maintain open communication with PFLAG national, and other events.

It even gives us the freedom to throw our own events so that we can fulfill the objectives of the organization which is to Support, educate and advocate for those who can't fight for themselves.

People don't realize how much I invested in getting PFLAG off the ground. I am not saying this to garner sympathy, I am saying it because it is an investment regardless of what some think!

When I shared with a disgruntled person what I had invested, I was told that no one asked me to do any of it.

The thing is, had I not done all of this, we wouldn't be looking at the first PFLAG chapter in the Valley. So I decided that she was right and that I needed to be more selfish, which I was. I took this whole month for me. I didn't do anything that had to do with PFLAG other than sending off the paperwork.

The thing is I noticed that no one did anything while I took a break.

The other reason we should have dues is that what could happen is that ANYONE could come to the meetings and cause turmoil to the point that nothing gets done, the meetings get hijacked by people who are not interested in forwarding the message of the organization.

We could end up with a Solomon Ortiz in office. You know, the kind of individuals that say they are one thing but they are actually something else. (For the record, Ortiz voted to keep DADT in place; he calls himself a democrat but his actions scream republican!)

Well as I said, the paperwork for PFLAG is pending but it is there. Now we just have to wait and see if they will give us the approval for next year.

The trial is officially over

2010-06-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

Today at 10:40 the jury finally presented their verdict to the court after a day and a half of deliberation.

I think this case was hard on everyone. The victim's family presented their impact statements to the defendant and it appears that the defendant's family took it pretty hard. Dominguez was sentenced to 20 years. I sat in the back as I watched the Dominguez family cry. Dominguez's older half sister had to be escorted out of the courtroom because of her distress.

I feel bad for both families because this could have all been prevented. If people had paid more attention, this would have never happened. If people had used better judgement, this would have never happened. If we were all more aware, this would have never happened. As they say would have, could have, should have,...it doesn't change the current situation. John Farr is still dead and Francisco Dominguez is behind bars. The only thing that could be done is that in the future people could learn from this experience.

I understand the Farr family's pain because they lost a loved one. However, so did the Dominguez family. That is too much of a loss for too many people.

The homophobia factor in the RGV allowed Troiani to have a defense. Gay panic. It is the same argument that is going to be used in the Horn Martinez trial.

They say that to best understand the situation, you need to talk to both sides. Maybe I waited to talk to the defendant's family but when I saw how heartbroken the father was, I could not bring my self to saying anything. What do you say to someone whose son is going to spend the next 20 years in jail? What do you say to the family?

About the only thing to say is, I am sorry for your pain and I know you have a lot to process. Maybe one day we can talk when you are able to better gather your thoughts..

I hope this case does get studied because it shows a lot of different facets to what can happen if you don't pay attention.

The Dominguez-Farr Trial

2010-06-03T05:20:00.001-07:00

Hello Kiddies!

For the past two weeks, I have sat through testimony in the case of the high school drama/speech teacher who was murdered by his student.

In 2008, John Farr was murdered in his home about a week before starting his summer school classes. His glasses were on the night stand, his shoes were off and he was in bed ready for sleep. He was stabbed 21 times in the throat! One of those went in the left side of his neck through the front and the other came out the side of his neck in the back.

According to police, there was NO FORCED ENTRY AND NO SIGNS OF A STRUGGLE. Farr was found by his apartment manager who received a call that Farr did not show up for school and they wanted to make sure he was okay. When the manager entered the apartment he walked back into the bedroom where he found Farr after more than 24 hours of being out of pocket. He thought he had had a heart attack. So he called police. When they got there and got a closer look, they determined that he had been stabbed in the neck 21 times. There was blood on the headboard that John Farr had coughed up and blood around the head and down the side of the bed where Farr had bled out.

The defense stated that the Dominguez was defending himself. The defense stated Farr as a pedophile and a sexual predator. The defense stated that Farr had drugged him with alcohol and cocaine. The defense stated that Dominguez was groomed for this night. The defense claims that he "lured" Dominguez to his apartment. The defense also had another person testify to corroborate Dominguez's claim because he had a similar experience with Farr. However, in both cases, neither was reported to police or the high school.

So if it isn't reported, it is merely a story.

There was no cocaine in the victim's system nor was there cocaine anywhere in the victim's home. He then claims that Farr cornered him into the bedroom where he proceeded to brandish what appeared to be an ice pick, which was never recovered. The defendant claimed that he was cornered and that he allowed Farr to "rub up" against him and kiss him to get the weapon away from him. When he got the weapon, he stabbed him-21 times in the throat. Self defense, the defense claims. Sudden passion, the defense claims. So which was it self defense or sudden passion?

The autopsy report did not show any bodily fluids in Farr's mouth, penis or anus other than his own. Farr's body released urine and sperm and some fecal matter but it is what the body does when it dies-everything relaxes.

The truth is that after listening to the evidence, the only thing that could be said about Farr was that he was a lonely old man whose health was failing due to his heavy drinking, smoking and eating. He had never had a boyfriend. He would hire dancers to come to his home. The defense claims that he hired escorts but he never called any in to testify. The autopsy reports indicated that Farr had an enlarged heart with 40% function, his liver was cirrhotic and his lungs were in bad shape. The man would not visit a doctor and his feet were in need of a pedicure because his weight was so much that he could not reach them to keep them groomed. By midday his feet would be so swollen he could hardly walk. According to autopsy reports, there was severe edema in his legs from poor circulation. Former students, family and friends came forward to describe John Farr. All of them had only good things to say about him. He was loved but he was lonely.

According to police reports, there was no evidence of a struggle as the defendant claimed.

I have always said that I have a love-hate relationship with law enforcement but after the work they did on this case, I have to return to the love. The thing is that after talking to some of the officers, most have found themselves with their hands tied because sometimes when these things happen within the gay community, many LGBT people shut down and say nothing because they are afraid of the repercussions. The thing is that by not saying anything and not "bearing witness", the other side can say whatever they want and we sit back like the accused. However, we will talk about that on another blog. The point is that they did what they did in order to find the murderer. On a few occasions, they almost let him slip from his hands but they got him in the end because the family convinced him to turn himself in.

Back to the defense. How many of you have been victims of an assault? It is not only scary, it is messy. When you are a victim, you run and scream so that people can come out to help you. The defendant claims that after he saw that Farr was non-responsive, he took the weapon and the victim's car, wallet, cellphone, school laptop, and some booze. That is a lot of stuff to carry for one person.

He did not drive to the police station. He drove to Brownsville to a friend's house, a place located at least a half an hour away. While he was there, he confessed to murdering the teacher. The friend's girlfriend overheard and the defendant left to his aunt's house where he said nothing for a whole day.

That friend was called in to testify and neither he nor his girlfriend were present for testimony. A bench warrant was issued.

Count the ways he could have said something to authorities. He did not.

On his way back to Harlingen, he was stopped by a DPS officer because the registration on the vehicle had expired. You would think this would be the perfect opportunity for his outcry. He did not. He remained silent on the issue but vocal enough to tell another story.

He told the officer that he had just bought the vehicle and that he had not had a chance to renew the registration. Then he also told the officer that he was on his way to HIS FATHER'S FUNERAL. For the record, his father was in the courtroom. When the officer did the field sobriety test because he could tell that the defendant was drunk.

The defendant had no ID on him. So when asked for his name, the defendant gave a false name, his brother's name who has no record. When nothing came up because he got the dates wrong he finally came clean and told him his real name. Because he was a minor, the officer took him home to his grandmother's house.

How many lies and how many wasted opportunities to clarify things?

He tells his grandmother about killing a man(never mentioned self-defense) on Monday night so she calls her daughter who proceeds to call the police at 10:00 at night. So in essence nearly 48 hours have gone by before the body was discovered and he says anything to authorities about being responsible.

The officer gets him in the squad car and talks to the grandmother. He is not handcuffed but there is an officer next to the squad car door. The supervising officer comes to the car and tells the defendant that "anyone can say anything about a murder". At this point, the defendant says, "you are going to find out anyway. DPS caught me in Farr's car." He didn't say anything about an assault or an attempted rape.

So they took him down to the police station. He still has not said anything about an assault. If there was a struggle, police could have looked under his nails or taken pictures of the "damage". For two months he said nothing while he was incarcerated. All this time, the evidence is slipping away. When he was certified as an adult in August, he finally tells Texas Rangers that there wa an attempted assault and that he was defending himself. He was "moved to passion" and he acted the "only way he knew how-fight or flight.

After listening to the defense, they have not proved any assault. If there is no record it didn't happen! All that have been told have been stories.

The other thing is that his family knew that there was a teacher that was giving him money. They did not attempt to get the name of that teacher. The aunt says she told her mother to go down to the school to report it. Without a name and details to build a story, there was no case filed because at this level it is merely hearsay. The other interesting thing is that the aunt testified that the family thought it was a woman that was giving him money and flattering him.

Dominguez was found guilty. However now starts the punishment phase which is very disconcerting because the defense attorney, city commissioner Anthony Troiani, was allowed to introduce "sudden passion" as a special issue.

According to the Juvenile system, he has been there since the age of 11 when he assaulted another person.

He broke the nose and cheekbone of a fellow classmate.
There was an unauthorized use of a vehicle.
There was an assault with a deadly weapon up in WEBB county while living in Laredo.
Then the murder of John Farr.

All of this took place in a span of 5 years. While in prison, he attacked a fellow prisoner for masturbating in the cell. There were 22 other people in the cell but only he attacked the prisoner. That prison inmate had to spend time in the hospital.

Now, it has been made evident that he is a member of the Latin Kings, one of the most violent criminal gangs in the country.

This is why we need to "bear witness". This is why the gay community needs to unite. Our lack of unity allows people like this to continue to say deplorable things about us. It allows defense attorneys use the gay panic defense when there is just a hit of homosexuality in the victim. Simply saying that the person felt threatened or, in this case, disrespected, gives them the right to hurt or kill!

Barry's trial has been moved to August 30. Please don't make me stand alone.

Why am I so interested in starting a PFLAG chapter and having Pride?

2010-04-24T20:41:00.000-07:00

There are lots of reasons why we deserve to have PFLAG and PRIDE in our community.

It goes back to Barry, Richard, John and Edward. Four murders in two years with similar MOs and no one bats an eye....

The reason I started thinking about this is that tonight there was the Symphony in the Park at UTB. The funds raised are going to the Brownsville Literacy Center but the presentation was in Barry's honor. Someone asked me if I was going and I said no. He wanted to know why I wouldn't attend something like that since I was so close to Barry. I didn't have an answer right away but I started to think about it and this is what I came up with.

While it is nice that people are honoring him, I sorta wonder why they aren't putting more of those efforts into programs like Safe Space, a PFLAG chapter, a GSA club in public schools and LGBT issues and rights within the local community and getting local politicians to OPENLY support the LGBT community? Many politicians count on LGBT votes but don't go out of their way to find them.

Barry was big on civil rights. He told me about his participation as a young man in the civil rights movement. He believed in them and got his hands dirty in the process. I don't think a lot of people know this about him.

When Barry and I were creating the movie list for the GSA club at UTB(now defunct), we talked about gay rights. We talked about the need to get the community organized. We talked about a lot of things. In the short time that I knew him, he taught me a lot about myself.

I guess the reason I didn't want to attend is because I am honoring him every time I show a movie and every time a new face shows up at the screenings or every time someone endorses the idea on my Facebook page.

When PFLAG and PRIDE are established, only then will I truly have honored his memory and everyone else's memory who met a similar fate.

I don't have a problem with their way of honoring his memory. If a person wants to set up a scholarship fund or dedicate a performance to him, that is fine. That is their way of honoring his memory. My way of honoring Barry and these other men is to bring attention to the issues many don't want to deal with.

Barry was openly gay.

Barry was murdered allegedly by someone who was living with him months prior to the incident.

People said some ugly things about how he died.

To a certain extent, many blamed Barry for being murdered the way he was murdered.

They blamed him for letting the murderer in his life and allow him to live in his home.

People tried to sympathize with the accused because he was only 20 years old. I got news for ya: 17 is the age of consent in the state of Texas. He had three years to decide what he liked or didn't like.

People are speculating about the "true relationship" between the suspect and the victim. His relationship is irrelevant. What is relevant is that he was living in that home with him and when Barry kicked him out, he came back to kill him. He should have kept walking when the door hit his hind end.

People judged Barry when he never judged anyone regardless of how "colorful" they were.

He celebrated them because that is the kind of man Barry was!

I think that at 20 years of age you know right from wrong when it comes to murder.

If you have regrets about a relationship, it doesn't give you the right to kill someone! Imagine if every person who had regrets about a relationship decided to go back and kill that other person. There would be blood in the streets.

It just seems empty to me to go to this event because it doesn't feel like I am honoring him. If I went, I would feel so hypocritical because even though it was a part of his life, it is not the part of his life that I knew.

Barry was like a prism or a kaleidoscope. There was a certain simplicity to his structure but at the same time, oh so very complex.

While I appreciate their way of honoring him, I have to honor him in mine. A symphony is not for me but a good movie, a PFLAG chapter and PRIDE are.

Armoire Theater has promise

2010-04-12T07:36:00.000-07:00

Today is Monday.

The day before yesterday, I hosted my 4th Armoire Theater... We showed "Latter Days". For those of you who are not familiar, this movie takes on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Days Saints and their stance on homosexuality. The director is former LDS and actually lived the experience first hand.

I thought it was rather clever what he did in terms of the writing. He took what he was like before he came out and created the character of Aaron and then took what he was like after he came out and created Christian-at least in the early years. He then put them together and created a story around how they would react to one another.

I thought the whole thing was well written and brought up a very good point. The community cannot stand by and watch religious groups convince people that homosexuality is wrong or unnatural...

During Saturday's event, there were a few additions to the group. Some of my friends were there and we had a couple of new faces. What stood out for me were these two women who may be the key to getting a PFLAG chapter off the ground. It was a mother and daughter and that mother was so very proudly supporting her daughter by attending this event.

We need more people like them interested in standing up not just for themselves but for others..

I just wish more people would take time out of their schedules and help one another fight the injustice we have in this community when it comes to the GLBT.

What I have found interesting in recent months is that there really isn't any training in the public schools. How did I find this out? I started taking some ACP classes in order to get my Teacher's Certification. Go figure the school district has an opening I am perfect for but you need a teaching certification to apply. That means I have to teach for at least a year before applying for that position. But I digress...

As a result of not addressing the issue of homophobia, it gives teachers and administrators the right to turn a blind eye to students who are being bullied because of their sexual orientation.

The school has an anti-bullying policy but the thing is that this type of bullying is different from regular bullying because in some instances, the people who are supposed to be protecting these individuals are the ones that are indirectly doing the bullying. Who are those people? The parents, the teachers, the religious leaders and the list goes on. In essence, the adults because of religious dogma or because it is something different they have to get comfortable with!

A child is supposed to feel safe in a classroom, in his/her home, in a church but if an adult that is supposed to protect him/her isn't "paying attention" or "protecting" that child from the comments, isn't that the equivalent of being the bully?

That may have an impact on their social capabilities. In other words, it's a "failure to thrive". This is just as bad as sexual molestation. It is sexual harassment and child neglect. The student may decide not to go to school, go to church or hang out with friends. The end result is that the parents are then burdened with educating the child in some other way. The child can't be sent to a private school because the only private schools here are religion-based.

So what happens to that child.

The new face told me about a young trans girl who is undergoing that very problem. She came out and was quite open about her gender. However, the other students felt it was okay to bother the student and now she does not attend school at all.

How does that happen unless someone isn't doing their job?

I don't think GLBT people realize how important their voices are to the young people coming of age who are just like them.

If more people came to the Armoire Theater, they could share their experiences with the younger generation.

I am a little disappointed on a lot of fronts

2010-03-16T03:29:00.000-07:00

I am a little disappointed on a lot of fronts.

I realize that it is Spring Break and most people are out on the island enjoying the sun, fun and festivities. I know and I get it to a certain extent. It wasn't that long ago that I wanted to be out on the Island to meet new people and if I got laid doing so, more power to me.

However, on the mainland, Armoire Theater had a movie and I was expecting more people to show. We had a date people!

The attendance was a disappointment to say the least. I don't know if it is because I didn't advertise it enough or because people care more about the Island than a movie that they can relate to on a Saturday Afternoon.

For those of you reading this, the reason I don't want to advertise it too much is because I don't want any negative publicity to descend upon the project before it even starts. I want the community to feel that they can safely come to the show and watch a movie without being harassed because the content deals with GLBT subject matter.

I am also giving people a chance to say what is on their minds. I am providing a venue for your to organize.

How many people want to hear what you have to say rather than telling you what you should believe? How many people want you to say your peace rather than telling you that the way you live your life is wrong/unnatural or bad for someone's political career? Wouldn't you like to hear people say something positive about you for a change? Wouldn't you like to get something done for your community rather than have your community constantly used as a doormat?

I thought people would attend because of the fact that most GLBT people don't get the opportunity to watch these types of films every day especially in a church that does not proselytize or expect anything in return, much less try to convert you to something you are not. Armoire Theater is groundbreaking for the gay community. It is groundbreaking for the Valley especially in a traditionally conservative Hispanic community.

The fact that people can't see that this is an opportunity to see something that is considered "alternative" in a mainstream fashion is what is most disappointing. This is a chance for you to watch GLBT cinema and actually talk about what you just saw and how it affects you with others.

I will say this much: The handful of persons who did show up made some interesting revelations concerning why GLBT people are so closeted.

GLBT are a a paradoxical bunch and they are scared. To give you an example, there was this gentleman at the event that said a lot.

Concerning Barry Horn, Richard Garza, John Farr and others, he pointed out, "The community is mourning. They just don't know it yet."

While this is true and I completely agree with him, there is something else that is going on. I believe they are scared, too. It is almost as though these murders(six!) during the last two years were intimidation tactics to keep people in the closet.

The closet will kill you if you let it.

This same person had a lot to say on other topics and for that I am grateful. We talked about politics.

He pointed out that there was ONE particular candidate that has a history of courting the GLBT community. He sends out flyers to the community but he doesn't want to openly show his support because it could ruin his political chances. Instead he sends his family and his staff into the clubs and the community to press the flesh.

In other words, the GLBT community is this politician's booty call.

You are good enough to be courted discretely but he is embarrassed to let straight people know he is courting you. Imagine if this situation was on a sexual level. Would you let someone treat you like this if they were sleeping with you? Of course not. If they want to be with you, then they aren't ashamed of showing you off in public either. They want people to know that they are associating with you regardless of what people think!

The ironic part of this gentleman is that he was okay with it! He "accepted" that as part of life.

How can you accept crumbs when you are deserving of a whole loaf of bread?

I have been in that position and if a person doesn't want to "be" with me, then I need to move on. If we want to be counted, then we have to stand up for ourselves. However, as one person put it to me, what good does it do if you are the only one complaining?

I would like to think my voice isn't a lone voice.

I would like to think there are other people who want to have equal rights.

Even though this is just a movie club, it is also about organizing. It is about standing up for yourself. As they say, you have to stand for something or you will fall for everything.

Well I am tired of seeing the GLBT community constantly getting knocked down. I can't stand alone forever.

I have another date. Please find your way to the next film.

It is Saturday April 10.

Doors open at 3pm.

The movie starts at 4pm.

There are refreshments(chips, dips, sodas-diet and regular, and fruit/desserts and anything anyone wants to bring along)

The movie is called "Latter Days". It is about a lot of different issues including religion and its effects on the GLBT community. It isn't pleasant but it is relevant.

I want to see more of you there.

I promise I won't get on the soap box during the show or afterwards! LOL

What is Armoire Theater?

2010-02-20T17:12:00.000-08:00

I AM RAMBLING AGAIN SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF I AM LIKE A DRUNK PERSON WALKING DOWN THE STREET! I JUST HAD A LOT ON MY MIND AND I NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW. I KNOW I DON'T HAVE ANY FOLLOWERS BUT I HOPE PEOPLE ARE READING THIS.

A lot of people who are aware of me starting this movie club don't know why I started it. Well, here is why I decided this was something that had to be done.

I am a "fag hag" by nature. For some reason, GLBT people have always been drawn to me. Some more than others but drawn nonetheless. Maybe it is my "I don't give a shit" attitude or simply because I don't care what your sexual orientation is. If you are my friend, that is all I want from you. All I ask is that you not lie to me and don't try to hurt me.

I have to admit that when I first realized that many of my friends were gay, I had to get comfortable with the idea of it because I had to get comfortable with my own sexuality. That's pretty hard to do in a very conservative environment. That means that I may have said things in my past to friends that I TRULY regret because I was ignorant, little and didn't know any better. It was a learning process for me, too.

While this isn't an excuse, I was raised Catholic and Mexican Hispanic which are two very conservative and traditional cultures. I was also a female and held up to a different standard as males were. That makes me a triple threat of intolerance. It isn't the most accepting and supportive culture to be raised in. It is surprising I am the way I am considering the circumstances

Having gay friends was a plus and a minus.

The plus was that I could hang around with gay men and feel safe. It is hard for a girl who can't relate to straight girls. Straight girls have proven in the past that they couldn't be trusted. If you liked a boy, they told. If they liked the boy you liked, they told and then said some very ugly things about you behind your back and those things never fade.

I remember one girl who claimed to be my friend. It was my senior year in high school and I didn't like to wear make-up much because it made my skin itch. Keep in mind that my face was clear of acne so I really didn't need it. One day we were in class and she was noticing that I wasn't wearing make up and she said:

"You have a lot of faith in your looks, don't you?".

It didn't dawn on my what she was saying until I saw the movie "Mean Girls". Remember that scene where Regina addresses Cady and says, "You're very pretty." The statement wasn't meant to be a compliment but a "mean" way of blaming her for being pretty. It was catty and it was jealousy shrouded in a compliment. In my case, this girl was blaming me for not feeling I needed to wear make-up.

The minus, which wasn't much of a minus, was that my gay male friends didn't find me sexually attractive. The plus side of that was that they made me feel safe and never made me feel bad for anything.

I don't think I ever thanked those men who made life a little easier by just accepting me. If they ever read this, I hope they understand just how much I still love them to this day even though it has been so long since I last saw them. Edgar, Eddie, Ruel, and Joe, Thank you guys. If I ever did or said anything stupid, please just understand that it was a foreign concept to me that has taken me all these years to grasp.

Well, now, why Armoire Theater?

A few years ago, I met Barry Horn through the GSA at the University. I also met Heath and Ruben and many other very sweet and confident gay men who were just so amazing. I really loved Barry Horn. He was an outstanding individual and a great role model for what can be done. I am proud to call him my friend.

Before he died, he and I had talked about starting a GLBT cinema club through the university. However, it was the same year that the leaders of the GSA were graduating and they had other priorities ie graduation. I lost touch with several people and I lost touch with Barry. Every so often we would talk but he was so busy that we would talk briefly and he had to get back to work but we both agreed that this had to be done.

Then he went to go work for the Brownsville Museum of Fine Arts and he was really busy. I hadn't had a chance to talk to him that year.

However, if you know anything about me, I can go years without talking to someone and then suddenly run into them and talk to them like I had the day before.

I never got a chance to talk to him again that year and I regret it to this day.

Barry Horn was murdered in his home a week before Halloween in 2009. It was tragic and a part of me died as well. I had never met his family before but I wanted to go to the rosary to pay my respects. I wanted them to know that he was loved. When I met them, it was abundantly clear that Barry was not only loved by his friends but by his family as well. His family was so open-minded and just so warm and welcoming. It was a privilege to meet them despite the horrific circumstances.

After Barry died, the University started a scholarship fund in his name. I wanted to honor him but I didn't know how to do it. Then I started thinking about how Barry made "it" look so easy. "IT" can be anything you like. When he worked for the University, he could throw a party effortlessly. When he talked to people, his execution was flawless. He was comfortable in his own skin. That takes a lot of cojones, gay or straight.

I wanted to honor him in my own way and others who died in similar tragic ways. I started talking to my GLBT friends and I found many of them appeared to be smothered by the culture in so many different ways. I also read several of the posts on the Brownsville Herald and that really infuriated me.

Here was a man who did nothing but help people and all many of those posters reduced him to was a gay man who was murdered in his home and that the person accused of killing him may have been a much younger lover or simply someone he wanted to help. Either way, what happens behind closed doors between two CONSENTING adults is their business.

I find it interesting that people blamed Barry for his death because of his homosexuality rather than recognizing that he was a victim of an abusive situation.

If this had been a straight woman or a straight man, she/he would not have been reduced to a being a "breeder". The idea of blaming the victim would have never entered their minds. Why were Barry and others who have met similar fates reduced to being gay?

Ignorance is something Barry always tried to combat in his own way-one person at a time.

Rather than getting angry about the cultural intolerance that we see on a day to day basis, I decided to follow my own advice and fight ignorance the only way I know how-by opening my big old gob and giving them a piece of my mind whether they want to hear it or not.

I decided to talk to the Unitarian Church to see if they would open their facility to showing these films. There was no negotiation and no hesitation. They welcomed me with open arms.

All they asked was that I supply the film, the refreshments and clean up afterwards. I told them about Armoire theater and they were ecstatic about it.

They say that living in a closet is no way to live. A lot of GLBT people are out of the closet but have stepped into an armoire.

What do I mean by that? Think of the many different words for "closet". Wardrobe, armoire, the list goes on.

A closet is too drab and immobile for GLBT people but an armoire isn't. An armoire is portable, an armoire can also hold many secrets and and shield what you put in it from society. So, in essence, some GLBT people carry their closet with them.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!!!!

I started Armoire theater because I want the people coming to the event to leave their armoires at the door. Armoire theater is where you can enjoy a GLBT film in peace with people who support you.

I want Armoire theater to become the seed that grows a community outside of the club.

I want Armoire Theater to be where the Brownsville Chapter of PFLAG is born. The closest chapter is San Antonio to the North and Monterrey to the South. That means this area has no PFLAG to speak of.

Gay children are 4 times more likely to commit suicide. I don't believe the school district has a concrete hard and fast rule concerning GLBT students. I am trying to find out what the procedure is concerning kids like this but it is like pulling teeth.

It has to do with sexuality so you know the drill. I hope more people find it in themselves to become a part of Armoire theater not just for themselves but for the future GLBT community. Remember what it was like when you came out, IF you came out. That shouldn't continue in this day and age.

I really look forward to seeing you all at the next Armoire Theater. Maybe your actions could change things for the better.

ALL MARRIAGE IS BANNED IN TEXAS!!!!

2009-11-23T18:44:00.000-08:00

I found this article extremely hilarious. Several media outlets have pointed out that the law passed in 2005 banning same sex marriage in Texas in essence has banned all marriages in Texas.

The section in question states:

“This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.”

This means that it doesn't recognize civil unions. My husband and I were married by a justice of the peace. We have been "married" for nearly seven years. I guess this means that my marriage is null and void. Looks like I am in the same boat as gay people, as are the millions of other people in the state of Texas who voted in favor of this legislation who believed their relationship has more value than a gay one.

I am a pretty egocentric person when it comes to my marriage. I don't believe anyone loves their partner as much as I love my husband. I am guilty of that without a doubt to the point of it being laughable. However, just because I believe this doesn't give me the right to pass legislation or vote in favor of legislation to keep someone else from enjoying what I have.

Plus, to be honest with you, even though my marriage is invalid, it does not take away the love I feel for my significant other(can't call him a husband anymore, now can I?LOL).

It just reminds me of one Thanksgiving when my grandfather decided he was going to rain on our day. He came to the house wreaking all kinds of havoc. He even caused my mother to burn herself on her chest from all the yelling. She still has that scar. I will tell you about my grandfather some other day when I am feeling visceral. He is very much like the cockblocker.

He left and the only thing he told the other relatives is that he went there to purposely ruin our holiday.

Ironically, after he left, we all went on with the festivities as though he was never there. The same thing happens when gay people are told they cannot marry. If they love each other, they will find a way to be with each other regardless of what the law says.

As we all know, the law will eventually come around like it did in the late 60's with miscegenation laws.

Rest in Peace

2009-11-23T18:20:00.000-08:00

I got to thinking about this the other day. I live in Brownsville and there is no "gay strip" where gay people can shop in peace and hold hands with their significant others without the fear of being "judged" or bashed. There is upscale gay club where people dress up for a night out. There are also no "gay rights" groups!

There isn't really anywhere for gay youth to go when they are being abused or victims of bashings either.

Why is this?

There is a large gay population in Brownsville. Not everyone's journey has been easy. Not everyone's journey is the same either.

The other day, I did a little reading in the newspaper and found that over the past two years, at least a half a dozen gay men have died at the hands of others across the Valley in very gruesome ways and apathy seems to be the status quo by the newspapers, the police department and even the newspaper's readers and posters.

A very influential and well-respected individual passed away a week before Halloween. Barry Horn was someone I considered a friend. He was the type of person you could go months without speaking to and then suddenly run into him and it is as though you just spoke the day before.

He was an awesome person.

I attended his funeral. It was obvious he loved, was loved and touched many lives.

However, I can't comprehend some of the posters on the Brownsville Herald or the way the case was handled by police.

It just seemed like certain details of the case should not have been revealed to the press. It also seemed as though many within the community were passing judgement on Horn for the way he lived his life.

I think it was great that they found the person responsible but I didn't like the way it was made out to be so sordid. It was almost as though people blamed him for his fate. The same can be said for the other cases who were handled similarly.

I wonder how many straight men and women take someone to their place and never expect to be murdered the way he was or these other men were. I just don't think it is right to blame these men for the way they lived their lives or for the fact that they trusted someone enough to allow them into their homes.

Where are the gay groups defending the victim? Where are the groups holding the candlelight vigils for other gay people who have met similar fates?

Are gay people in Brownsville so afraid to stand up and be counted that they refuse to say what they really feel about this case?

If you are gay and you are reading this article, tell me what you think. Share your experiences. How did this story affect you?

Don't ask Don't tell

2009-07-30T13:46:00.000-07:00

This is the biggest pile of shite ever created. Back in the early '90's it seemed like the appropriate law for the appropriate time. However, in today's society, it smacks of marginalization. Gay people should be able to be out and proud ESPECIALLY if they are defending and dying for our country so that others don't have to.

It is amazing to hear what people have to say about this policy. Personally I think it sucks. I was listening to the Michelangelo Signorile show and there was this caller named James. He allegedly is in the military and "claims" not to be homophobic. However, his claims smell of it and to a certain extent, it smacked of lies too.

He claimed that he is in the military and that one night he and a bunch of his military buddies were out drinking and one of his friends had too much to drink. He alleges that because "he didn't want his friend's family to see him in this inebriated condition," he brought him to his house. Later in the evening, according to James, he was awakened by the drunken fella groping him.

I have a problem with this story because he claims the guy groped him. I thought the person he was "helping" was too drunk to go home on his own.

If you are too drunk to drive yourself home, chances are you are too drunk to get your dick up!

However, he did not discuss what happened the following morning with the guy.

Did he discuss what happend the following morning with the guy? You would think this would be something you would want to clear the air about.

Did he report it to the police or his superior officer?

If they were both in the military, this would be the perfect opportunity to have him discharged so that he would never be able to do this to another soldier again.

That issue was never discussed but the fact that he groped him was discussed. If it was not reported and it isn't on record, then it didn't happen.

This reminds me of the straight guys who go to gay clubs and claim that some gay man either grabbed their ass or their junk!

It never happened and it probably didn't happen unless the advances were either encouraged or welcomed.

Most gay men that I know go clubbing to dance, drink, hang out with their friends and, yes, to check out what is on the market. Consider it window shopping. However, if they get lucky then it is considered a bonus.

Not all clubbing is exclusively about sex. Sometimes it is just clubbing.

Then, even though he keeps arguing that he is not homophobic, he says he doesn't like the idea of gay military personnel being "out" because he doesn't like the idea that a gay man whom he is bunking with will be checking him out.

So what if he is checking you out!!!!!!!!!!

Straight men check out women all the time!! There isn't a law against looking. It is when you touch someone inappropriately that it becomes a problem.

What makes you even think that you are desirable enough to get checked out anyway? It is usually very average to unattractive guys who are worrying about getting checked out. If you think it is going to be a problem, nip it in the bud by talking about it with the bunkmate.

If a gay man is in the military, it is because he is there to do a job. Get that to sink in!

It is like saying that if a person working in the medical field is homosexual, then all they want to do is grope patients because they are vulnerable and cannot defend themselves. After working for years in the medical field as a translator/interpreter, I can honestly say that there is nothing sexual about treating a patient or examining them for injuries.

A naked body in the emergency room is not sexy especially when there is blood everywhere because the person was stabbed or shot or has vomit all over them because they have overdosed on some controlled substance or simply have the flu and are coughing on everyone.

I make this parallel because I know a lot of men and women who work in the medical field who are gay and their sexual orientation is irrelevant to the job they are doing.

What is the difference between the military and the medical field? Absolutely nothing.

Both require competence, professionalism and people's lives depend on them doing their job. If gay people can be trusted in the hospital with people who are in this vulnerable state, then why shouldn't they be trusted in the military?

Feel free to look at my other blogs

2009-07-30T13:32:00.000-07:00

southpawgirl.blogspot.com

-this one is just about my experiences and feelings that I may be having and need to get off my chest. Sometimes they are personal and sometimes they are political.

officialenglishisalie.blogspot.com

this one has to do with the marginalization of the Limited English Proficiency community by groups like US ENGLISH and Pro English and the Center for Equal Opportunity among others.

Once again, these blogs are just for releasing a little steam.

It is not meant as a threat against anyone but just the feelings I am expressing at the time that I am writing.

I SHOOT FROM THE HIP.

That may not sit well with some people and if I offend you, I apologize but if you are not part of the problem that I have at that time then it isn't being directed at you and you should just read the rant and take it with a grain of salt...

Matthew Shepard and Norma Gay

2009-07-30T05:05:00.000-07:00

I was watching Kathy Griffin's D-list show the other day and the episode was about PROP 8 and the gay marriage issue as well as several other issues concerning the GLBT community. I kinda had a problem with the show because she was in a Gay and Lesbian Center for troubled teens and rather than hearing their stories she focused on Matthew Shepard.

What happened to Matthew Shepard was horrible and it was a true demonstration of how much evil there is in the world all in the name of God and the Bible. My heart goes out the the family that lost one of their own who demonstrated such potential.

However, he is not the only one that this has happened to. The way the media portrays this tragedy is almost as though they are diminshing any other victims who have either died or survived similar experiences.

Kathy Griffin had the perfect opportunity to interview and talk about their stories. One of the boys was a child of Mormon parents and was kicked out of his home. He was shunned by his family and lived on the streets until he stumbled upon this place. The sad part about him is that his Mormon family kicked him out because he was gay. This is a religion that is supposed to be about love, is it not?. Exposing your child this way because he/she is different isn't love nor is it relevant to Christian teachings or the teachings of the "Latter Day Saints".

Isn't there a passage in the Bible that talks about loving your children and protecting them from the evils of the world? I know that in the Book of Mormon there is a passage that says you must protect your children because not only are they a reflection of you, they are your immortal footprint on the world.

There was another child(M2F) who was not only transgender, she was Latina. I would have loved to hear her story and how she ended up at the center.

There were other children of color who were also there.

What is it about Matthew Shepard that makes him so special and any other victim before or after him meaningless or not as important?

Is it because he came from a loving and supportive home?

Was it because this happened in Wyoming and things like this just don't happen there?

Was it the fact that he died after being severely beaten, tied to a fence and left for dead?

Was it because he had been beaten and raped previously to this incident on a high school trip?

Why is Matthew Shepard so much more important?

I live in Texas in a predominantly Hispanic section of the state. What happened to Matthew Shepard is tame compared to what has happened to some of the people in the LGBT community in areas like where I live.

I remember hearing about a young gay man whose naked, bloated body was found floating in a body of water. He had been robbed, raped mutilated and tied to some tree branches that were arranged to look like a crucifix.

Obviously, it was intentional. It was planned and it was not even in the newspaper. People just talked about it.

Have you ever smelled human flesh burning?

It has a bitter, somewhat porky smell to it. When I was little, we lived on a ranch and the closest neighbor was miles away. About a 10 miles away from where I lived, a man and his son were out walking and discovered the body of a teenage boy who had been raped, beaten to a pulp and law enforcement agents believe he was burned alive. Two older teenage boys were responsible for the murder. They were trying to dispose of the body a few towns over to confuse law enforcement and distance themselves from the incident but one of them told a friend who eventually came forward. The victim was suspected of being gay.

I smelled that boy burning on the previous afternoon after getting off the school bus. I just figured it someone was grilling out and that their meat was burning.

At the time of the incident, that little boy was my age. I am a grown woman now and I still think about him from time to time because I wonder what he could have become.

I am not trying to downplay what happened to Matthew Shepard. What I am trying to point out is that it happens and has happened to others and continues to happen to others.

Matthew Shepard is just one of many that have suffered at the hands of bigotry and GLBT intolerance. It doesn't begin and it doesn't end with him. It doesn't even revolve around him.

Gay Marriage and religion

2009-07-30T04:26:00.000-07:00

People use religion as a justification for taking a stand against gay marriage. Many pull out the Bible and cite passages to do so. The truth of the matter is that the Bible has been used to justify all sorts of inappropriate behavior.

This is the same book that justified slavery, the belief that women were the root of all evil, and any other thing you can think of to marginalize people. Heck it is even being used by anti-immigrant groups and Official English groups(they use the Tower of Babel story to defend monolingualism and the marginalization of LEPs)

The thing about the Bible is that it is not the law of this land. The US constitution is. The US constitution guarantees its citizens certain INALIENABLE rights. Inalienable means that they cannot be abridged or suspended. They can't be taken away from you by someone else. To be honest, you can't even give them up yourself.

Marriage is a legal contract. This is why you sign a document to make it valid. This is why a third party(JOP/priest/minister) must sign that he witnessed the union. It is not really a religious one. The religious aspect of a marriage CEREMONY depends on the individual.

If you think about it, when you divorce, you must do so in the courts, not in the church. This is why the courts will determine the division of assets, not the church. This "contract" is so important that you cannot marry another person if you are still married to the original person.That would be considered a "breach of contract" and there is even a law concerning this practice. It is called polygamy and it is illegal in all states. However, even if it is on the law book, it does not mean that practice is no longer existent. All you have to do is look to UTAH in the hills and isolated areas of the state and the fundamental LDSers. They are serious practitioners of polygamy who managed to stay under the radar up until recent years.

Speaking of polygamy, the Mormons are a group of people that changed their religious outlook to become part of the US. You would think that they would be backing up the gay community in their quest for marriage equality.

Why?

If you think about it, Utah would have never become part of the US if they had not given up the practice of polygamy. Even though it was part of their religious belief system, and this country was founded on freedom of religion, they still modified it to become part of the union. In a way, if you think about it, they went "against God's law" to be included in the "law of the land". If they aren't obeying God's law and practicing plural marriage, they are not good Mormons because they are not fully practicing their religion. My understanding is that they believe that plural marriage will bring them closer to God. Therefore, will they be denied entry into the Kingdom of God because they are not practicing all that there is to practice within the teachings of that religion?

If they supported the LGBT community's right to marry, then they would no longer have to compromise their belief system and incorporate polygamy back into their everyday lives. This means that they too could enter God's kingdom.

I guess people are so shortsighted that they do not see how gay marriage can benefit them.

Prejean book deal

2009-07-21T07:25:00.000-07:00

It is interesting that Carrie Prejean has made every attempt to cash in on her statements in favor of "opposite marriage". She has just parlayed her statements into a book deal. This is sad because she claims that she is being attacked for her statements. She is trying to make herself out to be the martyr.

The truth of the matter is that she is the persecutor/attacker and every person like her using the same arguments are the attackers. They are the worst kind of people walking the face of the Earth.

Many of these people use the Bible, God or their personal Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to defend their statements to hate.

I use the word HATE because if you sincerely believe that certain people should not be allowed to have access to certain rights and privileges because of their sexual orientation is different from yours is hateful.

The Bible is not a good book to base your beliefs on anyway. The Bible discusses sodomy in various sections but if you read the passages carefully, they are not talking sex between two CONSENTING adults.

The story regarding Lot is about rape not consensual sex. This story is also about incest and getting someone drunk and then raping them.

They allegedly wanted to rape the angels, not have consensual sex with them. Rape is unconsensual whether it be between two people of a different sex or same sex.

Furthermore, what kind of father would not protect his daughters? If you recall, he told the Sodomites that if they wanted to have sex he would gladly provide his daughters to them. So it

was okay to rape women but not okay to rape angels. Please explain the logic behind that.

This is also a very confusing text because there are other passages of the Bible that say that one should protect their children but Lot did not try to do that.

And what exactly happened after they left Sodom and Gomorrah?

They went to hide in a cave where the daughters proceeded to have sex with Lot after getting him drunk! If we look at that from this perspective, it appears as though Lot and his daughters would not be allowed into the Kingdom of God even though it was God that ordered them to be "saved" from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Plus what made them so special that they were deemed salvageable?

Then there is the major controversial statement found in Corinthians.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."

Interesting statement. However, if you really think about it, you can look at it two ways. Either the Kingdom of God is going to be a very empty and lonely place or these people who will not "inherit" the Kingdom of God will be allowed to live there but not allowed to own property. It says inherit not inhabit, right?

There are also the Leviticus Passages that state:

Leviticus 18:22 - "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable." (NIV)

Does this mean that lesbianism is okay? It says "do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman". Is it okay for a woman to lie with another woman as she would a man? Isn't this the same section where they talk about eating certain types of foods that are considered "clean" and unclean"? Don't they also refer to eating unclean animals as a sin punishable as well?

People eat pork and shellfish. Does this mean that they are going to be denied entry into the Kingdom of God?

Leviticus 20:13 - "If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads." (NIV)

First of all, even though it says they must be put to death, it does not say they will be denied entry into the Kingdom of God. Secondly, doesn't it also say in the Bible that God will be the Judge for a man's sins not man? So in essence this passage is very contradictory because it says the person committing the act must be put to death but isn't that murder and doesn't "Thou Shalt Not Kill" come into play? Does this statement not seem like a rationalization and justification to kill someone even though it is against "God's Law"?

Then there is the section in Romans.

Romans 1:26-27 - "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion."

What is unnatural about sex with a person of the same sex? Unnatural means it is not found in nature. There are several animals in the animal kingdom that have sex with other animals of the same sex. There are even animals that are monogamous with the same sex for life.

Bottlenose dolphins will mate with the same sex. Frogs will change their sex when reproduction options are limited. This is nature. These are two examples of what happens in nature when the orientation of the animal or individual is in question. They EVOLVE.

Evolution is also a naughty word with these people.

So not believing in nature could be considered a sin...

It is something God created, right?

If you deny his work, then you deny him and isn't that the biggest sin of all?